A new year, lots of changes and I am ready to enjoy 2014. I will admit, I dreaded the holidays. I could not find the energy to enjoy them personally or at work with my residents. Part of that was due to some of the changes I alluded to. Plans and events got scaled down. I found myself relieved, unburdened in a way that never happened before during the holiday season. Little did I know, this turned out to be a blessing and my life is so much better.
For several years I’ve told my gal pal, sk, I’m not a deep person, that my emotions are pretty basic and uncomplicated. A month a go, I could easily list them: happy, sad, frustrated, hungry and tired. At any time if anyone asked me how I felt, I can guarantee you my answer would be one of those five. Sk informed me she thought I kept my feelings pushed down to avoid them. Geesh, what the hell would she know about my emotions, right?
Besides being beautiful, my lovely lady is quite brainy. . . and a therapist, so it turns out she did know a thing or two about my feelings. One day out of the blue I found them. All those damn emotions I buried came bursting to the surface, we are talking about a volcanic-like eruption. I have f*ckin’ feelings! Luckily, no one got hurt.
Since then, I’m learning to verbally express my feelings. Just the thought of that still makes me grimace but I will admit that sharing is slowly becoming easier. I’ve also started some yoga moves. No, this butch is not farting in a yoga class. Sk showed me three positions for relieving stress. The cobbler pose is my favorite and I must be doing something right because when my gal pal peeked in the room to make sure I was okay, I was snoring.
Okay, maybe falling asleep isn’t the goal in yoga. I have more to learn but I am a work in progress. And that’s the key, making progress.