Communication is a Process


Relationship-tips-2_1-optI finally figured out the best way to communicate with my gal pal, sk. I know no one will ever mistake me for a genius but I’m not the dimmest bulb in the box either but apparently I take a little bit longer to learn some things than others. Obviously, communication is not my strong point.

After 10+ years, I learned the key is word usage. If I speak sk’s language, every thing is right in the world. And when I say sk’s language, I do not mean her Filipino Tagalog, I mean her therapist lingo.

Take a couple of weeks ago, for an example, I started the process of exchanging my summer clothes for my winter wear. I dragged out that huge luggage piece that is almost as big as I am, took out the winter clothes and started replacing them with the more summer like items I won’t use while the snow is blowing. Keep in mind, this is a chore I didn’t even know existed until I met sk. Now, I dread it every six months. But there I was in the middle of all these piles of clothes and I decided I just couldn’t do any more that day. I also knew sk  would cringe if she came in to see how I was doing and saw the disarray. That’s when I went to her, explained that I did not finish the job but that it’s a process and I would complete it later.

My crap sat there for another week without sk mentioning it. All because I said the magic word, “process.” It doesn’t matter what the topic of conversation is, if I add that word to the end of my sentence, all is good. Plus, if I throw in a term I’ve heard her use, triangulation for instance, she perks right up and I get brownie points for big words. Simple enough, right?

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6 thoughts on “Communication is a Process

  1. RIght! Donna was a therapist in private practice. When she is upset about the mess I “mirror” back to her what she said (google Harville Hendrix and Imago Therapy). I’ll say “You are upset because the mess on the coffee table is chaotic and you want it cleared off so you can find your reading glasses and appointment book”.

    Then she feels heard and I can procrastinate.

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  2. Ha! Did she ever catch on to what you do? There should be a help group for those of us that live with therapists. Thanks again for reading and commenting, Jamie Ray! Cheers.

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  3. Ha, why yes I can. . .
    A former resident of mine got her giggles by using triangulation to pit two employees against one another.
    😉
    Nice to see you haven’t disappeared into that big sink hole so many bloggers fall into, TaijituMartini.
    Cheers.

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