In a Funk / The Liebster Award


I’ve been in a serious funk lately, well actually for the entire month of March. I don’t know why this current state of mind has lasted this long but I do know how I got there. I was stalling because I did not want to write my review of the last book I read. I didn’t even want to think about that book. . .still don’t. So I won’t!

Instead I will thank a fellow blogger, Loz, over at littleaussielezzy.com. She was nice enough to nominate my blog for the Liebster Award. Now, I do not pretend to know what this means. I do not know if this is an actual award passed around by fellow bloggers here at WordPress or some Down Under humor. Either way I believe it’s all in good fun. Besides, I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to answer those questions submitted by Loz.

The rules of the Liebster Award are as followed:

First, thank the person who nominated you. Check. But to make sure, thank you again, Loz! I always look forward to reading your posts and your sense of humor is a riot. . .even if I’m not quite sure what some of your words mean. 🙂 Second, answer the eleven questions they asked you. See below. Third, nominate eleven other people (who have 200 or less followers), and ask them eleven questions in return. Read last part of post for this.

Questions from Loz:

1. What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Oatmeal. . .

2. Do you always wear underwear?  If not, how often do you free-lip it?

I wish I could be free-lipped like you Loz, but alas, I’m not that brave. I do get some fresh air at night  when I use boxers for pajama bottoms. BTW, my favorite are my sea turtle boxers.

3. Favorite body part on a woman?   Please oh please, don’t answer “her mind”.   Aargh…  I’m shooting for shallow and playful here!

Beyond MeIn general, I find the neck/collar-bone region very sexy.

4. Ever fallen asleep somewhere you shouldn’t have?  Where was it?

Oh goodness, I can fall asleep anywhere and have: classroom, work desk, doctor’s office, subway (seated and while standing. . .but not at the same time), car, bus, church, movies, theater, friend’s house while visiting, by the lake in the middle of the afternoon, while waiting for sk to get ready, in the shower. . . yeah, pretty much anywhere.

5. If you were a stripper/porn star what would you call yourself?

Just the thought of me being a stripper / porn star made me and sk laugh. I have no idea so I’ll tell you the first thing that came to mind: Little Britches. This is a moniker a good friend of mine gave me several years ago. This friend, a librarian, came across a female outlaw from the old American West by this name in a book she was looking through. She brought the book home to show me because she also swore the woman resembled me. . .anyway, the nickname stuck. Oddly enough, I almost used Little Britches as my blog’s title.

6. If I created lezzy utopia would you want to live there?

Could I hold off giving you a definitive answer until after I visit? I’m sure it would hold all that is near and dear to my lezzy heart but I would like to visit first before renting the moving van. 😉

7. What’s the theme song to your life?

Again, I’ll go with my first thought: “One of These Things (Is Not Like the Others)” from Sesame Street.Sesame Street

“One of these things is not like the others,

One of these things just doesn’t belong.

Can you tell which thing is not like the others

by the time I finish my song?”

8. Best song/music to play during sex?

This question also brought a chuckle from me and sk because we couldn’t remember the last time we had sex while there was music playing. When we have sex, what music to play is the last thing on our minds.

9. What’s your favorite joke?

This is a politically incorrect joke I heard on the radio, Bob and Tom in the morning on Q95, many moons ago:

The Bob & Tom Show

The Bob & Tom Show (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is a story from the old (American) West. This man had a son. Now this son wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box so one day he decided to teach the boy a lesson. He called his son over to him and handed him $5 and said:  “Son, here’s $5. I want you to go into town and buy $5 worth of what’s what.”

This boy didn’t even bother to ask his father what what was, he just took the $5 and headed into town.

First store he came to was a pharmacy. This boy walks into the store and up to the counter and says: “Excuse me Mister Pharmacist, but um, I got $5 here and I’d like to buy $5 worth of what’s what.”

The pharmacist just looks at the boy and says: “What?”

The boy answers: “What’s what”

The pharmacist is getting impatient now and tells the boy: “If you don’t know what you want you get outta here and stop wasting my time.”

So, the dim boy took his $5 and headed back outside where he continued down the street. Pretty soon he came to a department store. Once again, the boy takes his $5 up to the counter and says to the clerk: “Excuse me Mister, I have $5 here and well, I’d like to buy $5 worth of what’s what.”

The clerk just stares at the boy in disbelief and says: “What?”

The young boy responds, “What’s what.”

The clerk is very busy today and annoyed with the boy for wasting his time and says, “Boy, get outta my store and stop wasting my time with such nonsense.”

The dim boy takes his $5 and heads back outside once again and continues down the street. Next he comes to a grocery store. He looks down at the money in his hand and with great determination opens the door and walks directly up to the counter and says: “Excuse Mister Grocer, but um, I got $5 here and well, I’d like to buy $5 worth of what’s what.”

The grocer looks at the boy and figures he’s a bit slow so he decides to have some fun with this boy and tells him: “Hey son, yeah, I don’t have what you’re looking for here but if you take your $5 across the street there, I’m sure they would have what you’re looking for over there.”

The dim boy smiles at the nice man, takes his $5 and heads out the door. He takes his money across the street where there is a brothel. He knocks on the door and a woman answers, completely naked. Now, this boy has never seen a woman’s private parts before so he says: “wh. . . wh. . .wh. . . what’s that?”

The woman responds, “What’s what?”

The dim boy smiles and says, “That’s great! Give me $5 worth!”

10. Do you have body piercings? If so, where?

I don’t do well with piercings. I’m not squeamish about them or find them too painful but it did take me 5 tries before I could get pierced ears to heal correctly. I haven’t pressed my luck with anything else.

11. What’s something about you that’s quirky, unusual or surprising?

I have many quirks, i.e. I do not like ice cream with cake or pie. I can have a piece of cake, a slice of pie or a scoop of ice cream but I do not want them in any combination nor should they be touching.

Unusual? Hmmm, not sure about that one. I don’t have six toes on a foot if that’s what you’re wondering. 🙂

Surprising? Privately, I’m pretty conservative but I don’t assume that how I live my life is the model for anyone else. There also happens to be a cd of Barry Manilow’s greatest hits in our collection, oh hell, whom am I kidding, it’s currently in our cd rotation loaded in our stereo but I will not disclose who the outright owner of the cd is. But I can guarantee you we do not listen to Barry Manilow when we have sex.

Before I give my list of nominees for this prestigious award, please note they are not listed in any particular order. I read a variety of blogs, mainly from the LGBTQ genre but not all. Here are my nominations for the Liebster Award:

strollingturtle

LAZY HAPPY BORED HAPPY SAD. . .

A Boy and Her Dog

mothlit

Good Little Lesbian

Stories From Life

Sappho Speaks

pinkandfreetobeme

The Lady’s Sanctuary

Philippine Literature, Culture, & Ideas: Kalatas

Mojo Central

Now, the 11 questions for those of you who choose to participate:

1. What is your favorite smell?

2. Who is the most influential person of your life?

3. If you could invite 3 living people to dinner, who would they be and why?

4. What’s your favorite childhood memory?

5. What was your first paying job and what did you learn from it?

6. If you are familiar with public transportation and you are lucky enough to hop on an almost empty bus, where do you sit and why?

7. Cat person, dog person or neither one and why?

8. (Borrowed from James Lipton of “Inside the Actor’s Studio”) If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

9. What word or phrase do you use too often?

10. What is the title of the last book you read?

11. What is your favorite dessert?

A bonus question: If I say the words “shoe show” do you know what I’m taking about and have you ever been to one. If so, I want to hang out with you!

Thank you, one last time, Loz! And a big thank you to those bloggers who continue the Liebster Award path.

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5 thoughts on “In a Funk / The Liebster Award

  1. Hey hey Little Britches 😉 The Liebster award is a real thing! If I made it up I would have called it something else! hehe Thanks for responding to it. I hope your funk lifts soon if it hasn’t already. Great answers to the q’s. And great questions from your good self also – especially question 6!!! awesome. For me, that would depend on the time of day. If it was early in the day I’d probably sit nearer the back. If it was at night, I’d sit closer to the front… Happy day/night to you 🙂

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  2. I didn’t know I was allowed to nominate you since you nominated me. If I can than you would definitely be on my list! And yes, responding to your post helped me out of my funk some what. You helped me get my writing juices flowing again. Thank you! Good night for me, it’s probably good day to you. Either way, hope you are having a good time.

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  3. Pingback: Liebster Blog Award | Lazy Happy Bored Happy Sad...

  4. Many, many thanks for the nomination, Little Butch… . I’m something of a technological moron, so it may be a while before I figure out how to do those “pings” (I had to look up the meaning when yours came through :)), so if I’m not right on it, know that I’m processing. Mostly, though, I’m just excited to find your blog. Lots of fun to read… I’ll be following.

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  5. You’re very welcome, mothlit. I can’t remember the name of your post I first read but it had something to do with Virginia Woolf and all I could think about after reading your words were, “Oh geez, I sure hope she doesn’t come across my recent posting because this lady would not like it.” I don’t think you did and that’s quite all right, but I have been following you ever since and enjoy your work. Process as long as you need to, I also took a few days to respond and I ended up doing a lot of copying and pasting, if that helps at all. Cheers.

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