An Innocent Gland

I’ve kept my distance lately, not just from the blog world but society in general. I think everyone is safer that way. I think even poor sk would agree. I’m really really trying to right the ship. It’s our 10th anniversary coming up and I don’t want to screw that up. Unfortunately, my thyroid is just not cooperating and that is causing some issues. . .

The radiation pill I took a couple of months ago apparently did it’s job and now it’s time to start taking the medication I’ll be on for the rest of my life to regulate my now defunct gland. So I started pill popping according to my doctor’s orders and that’s when the fun set in.

Every day felt like I was PMSing, not the “oh, it’s do-able, just give me a couple _____ (your preferred pain reliever) and I’ll be fine” PMS. This was the “get out of my fu*king way or I’ll punch you in the face” PMS. The headaches and nausea came in waves. The heart palpitations and insomnia were added bonuses. The cursing like a sailor was nothing but the cherry on top. All this and more from a little innocent gland. The thyroid gland resembles the shape of a fu*king butterfly for Christ’s sake. What kind of ironic sh*t is that? God’s little sense of humor biting me in the ass once again?

“Oh, R, did the doctor mention irritability could be a side effect of the drug?” asked the nurse. Ummm, hell no. My doctor didn’t tell me any of the possible side effects. Looking back now, I realize I should have asked a few more questions. But you see, she had me by the tits. The human body can not function without the hormones secreted by the thyroid gland. Bad things happen in that scenario so I knew I would be taking pills, plus she told me the pill was a natural replacement of the hormone produced by our bodies. Due to this, the likelihood of an adverse reaction was quite small. Woo-hoo, once again I stand out.

I felt like royal shit for a couple of weeks and so I quit taking my pills. I started feeling better in 24 hours. Once the nurse passed along what condition I found myself in due to the medication, the doctor requested to see me the next day. Wow, that’s when I knew this was pretty serious or else the doctor was going away on vacation for a few weeks. Not sure which one applied in this case. All I know is that by the time I came to sit in one of her waiting rooms, I had not taken a pill in four days. I was ready to rip out her god damn eyeballs and stuff them up her fu*kin’ nostrils but I didn’t have the energy to raise a limb. In fact I fell asleep slumped over on the desk before she came strolling through the doorway.

Skeptical Doctor

Turns out the adverse effects I had come from being on way too much of the hormone replacement. Instead of the doctor starting me out on a low dose and work my way up to an amount that worked best for me, she just plucked a number out of her ass and told me to take that amount. She sounded skeptical that I had so many symptoms. Begrudgingly, she wrote out another prescription for a much lower dose. So far so good. Many of the symptoms are gone if not then they are greatly decreased, with the exception of the irritation.

Readers, bear with me for a few more days. Things are getting better. However, I may be ready for the real pms and then our anniversary will be shot all the hell anyway by Mother Nature. Just when I think I’ve taken a step forward, God always has a way of making me take two humbling steps backwards. . .

Peace