You know you live in a small town when. . .
1. four police cars respond to a rear end accident.
2. you go to pick up a food order when you realize you forgot your corporate card back at the office. You explain this to the cashier. He then hands you the order and tells you to come back later when you have the card.
3. you head to the hole-in-the-wall office space that serves as your police department and you find a sign taped to the door that says: “Be Back in One Hour after Foot Patrol Round.”
4. people you don’t know stop you on the street because they can tell who you are just by your appearance so they ask you how your Grandmother is getting along.
5. you, your siblings and your parents all had the same high school math teacher.
6. you are a teenager, you just broke-up with your boy/girl friend and your pissed. You speed away in your car and two cop cars pull you over. You finally get home not over five minutes later and your Mom/Dad is standing there and ask, “exactly how fast were you going?”
7. you can count the number of stop lights in your town on one hand and still have enough fingers to bowl a ball.
8. the weird “man on the corner” is nicknamed Smiley by the entire town.
9. there is one high school for the entire county.
10. you and your friends drive the ‘strip’ on a Friday nights and have bonfire parties on Saturday nights just for fun.
11, the girls who make up the basketball team are also the ones on the softball and volleyball squads.
12. you have a town drunk.
13. everything closes by 8 pm, even on the weekend.
14. there are more bars than gas stations or grocery stores.
15. you have to drive at least thirty minutes just to get to a theatre or mall.