This weekend I will celebrate my anniversary. Just a little something, maybe a nice dinner or a special outing of some sort. On March 1st, 2012, I stopped smoking. I did not cheat one time. I’ve been clean for 7 months.
Now you might wonder why I would celebrate my 7th anniversary instead of my 6th, which in all due respect, most people believe to be a major milestone. Easy explanation, I forgot. No, I didn’t forget to celebrate the occasion, I actually forgot I used to smoke! Caring folks would ask me how I was coping but by the end of March, I had to stop and remember just what I was supposed to be coping with.
I feel a little guilty celebrating or sharing my story of how I stopped something that seemed too easy. I struggled more the month of February than I did once I stopped smoking. Just the thought of not smoking made me smoke more. I don’t know why it was easy. . .nor do I really care, I’m just grateful it was.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bragging. I tried multiple times to break my habit. Nothing I did worked and I was too proud to go to any doctor to ask for help, especially for something I thought I had control over. I was never strong enough to go through with it. One such trial ended in such a short span of time it’s pitiful. I knew I failed when my roomie handed me $5 and begged me to go buy a pack.
I think my success is because of my approach. Not only did I mentally prepare but I also studied about the process. I identified what type of smoker I was. Turns out I wasn’t addicted to the nicotine, it was all behavior based. If you smoke within a half hour of getting up in the morning, you are more likely to be addicted to nicotine than those who don’t. I had no idea; this was all new information to me.
I would be a liar if I said I didn’t miss it. I miss the taste, the way it helped me to relax, going outside for a break and the comradeship but I’m past the urges. Could I on occasion enjoy a cigar or a single smoke? I would like to think so but I don’t want to tempt myself. Speaking of tempting, I don’t think I’ve really tested myself yet. We don’t hang out with any other smokers. The one smoking buddy I had moved. So I don’t want to say that I’m totally done.
And I don’t blame anyone for my behavior. Smoking was a decision I made, a stupid one but a decision all the same. A decision I made for over 15 years. I mean, come on, whose fault is it that I continued to inhale on a stick that was on fire for many years. . .mine. I must point the finger at myself now and possibly in the future.
So now my lungs are healing, I feel better, I’m saving some money but most importantly I know sk is proud of me. For those of you going through this process, stay strong and it does get better. Congratulations to those successful former smokers. If you have a tip for staying smoke-free, please feel free to pass it along.