As promised, this post will be about how I’ve come to this place in my life. . .
SK (sinta ko) and I lived a good life in Chicago but a few years ago we had to make decisions that seemed quite unfair at that time and still do to this day. I will digress and not talk about the totally inadequate immigration policies of the United States, the basic rights denied to same-sex couples or the fact that SK’s employer forced her into using their preferred lawyer for her immigration purposes even though this person did not practice immigration law. No, I will let that be. Instead, I choose to focus on the decisions we had to make.
Did we want to stay together as a couple? If so, do we live in her home country? Did she even want to go back to live in her native country? How easy/hard would it be for us to work and live as a same-sex couple in her hometown? Should we look to live abroad somewhere else, particularly a country that is more gay friendly. Did we want to make a temporary move or a permanent one? Did we want to leave the US for one year and then SK would be able to reapply for another VISA in hopes we could return to our little condo along the lake?
I would like to point out for the record that if we were a straight married couple or if basic civil rights would be allotted to same-sex couples, we would have stayed a happy couple right where we were; a registered same-sex domestic couple with no option to marry. But because I could not protect SK through marriage, we had to answer all
those difficult questions. And we answered those questions; together, after much discussion and research.
That is how we came to Canada, along with an 18-hour U-haul ride with two cats.
I’m interested in hearing from others who have had similar experiences. Did anyone choose to stay in the US illegally? Did you end the relationship? Please feel free to share.